The Funniest Thanksgiving Quotes to Light Up Your Holiday

Thanksgiving is a time to gather with friends and family, indulge in a feast, and reflect on gratitude. However, it’s also the perfect opportunity to share a few laughs and keep the mood light-hearted. To help infuse humor into your holiday, we’ve compiled a collection of funny Thanksgiving quotes that will surely bring a smile to everyone’s face. Whether you’re looking to add some wit to your holiday toast, break the ice at the dinner table, or just share a chuckle on social media, these quotes are perfect for the occasion.

1. Classic One-Liners for the Dinner Table

Injecting a quick joke during dinner can lighten the mood and create lasting memories. Here are some timeless one-liners:

• “Thanksgiving: Bringing out the best in family dysfunction since 1621.”
• “Why did the turkey join the band? Because it had the drumsticks!”
• “I can’t cook a turkey, but I can order a mean takeout. Does that count?”

2. Witty Observations on Thanksgiving Feasts

We all know that Thanksgiving is synonymous with a giant meal. Here are quotes that poke fun at the culinary indulgence:

• “You know you’ve overeaten at Thanksgiving when you feel too full to even moan.”
• “Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey — until Thanksgiving.” — Mike Connolly
• “Leftovers are for quitters.” — Unknown

3. Relatable Quotes About Family Gatherings

Family gatherings can be a mix of joy, nostalgia, and sometimes chaos. These quotes capture the essence of Thanksgiving with the family:

• “Thanksgiving is the time of year when my family gathers around a table and wonders why we only do this once a year.” — Unknown
• “There is always something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving. Even if it’s just not being the turkey.” — Unknown
• “This Thanksgiving, let’s be grateful for elastic waistbands.”

4. Playful Wisdom and Sarcastic Humor

For those who appreciate sarcasm and cheeky commentary, these quotes add a twist of humor:

• “If you didn’t want to sit at the kids’ table, then you should have acted like an adult last year.” — Unknown
• “Thanksgiving is a lot like Christmas, except you don’t get presents, just a lot of calories.”
• “An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” — Irv Kupcinet

5. Quotes from Famous Comedians and Personalities

Even notable personalities have shared their comedic takes on Thanksgiving:

• “I love Thanksgiving because it’s a holiday that is centered around food and family, two things that are of utmost importance to me.” — Marcus Samuelsson
• “Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not a coincidence.” — Erma Bombeck
• “My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.” — Rita Rudner